Cousins tire of city slickers' snide remarks
Q: Our relatives from the city come to visit us, their country cousins, each summer, taking advantage of our lakes and freshly grown produce. While they are here though they are constantly making remarks about the hayseed community theater or the fact that almost everyone attends church on Sunday.
We are polite people, but we are close to telling them that if where we live is so distasteful to them there are plenty of other places to spend their vacations. What would you do?
A: I'd tell them that if where we live is so distasteful to them, there are plenty of other places to spend their vacations. But I am not always what you might call a polite person.
I might also not invite them anymore, if I didn't enjoy their company as much as they enjoyed my lakes.
If I actually liked them a lot but their comically transparent self-importance was getting a little old, then I also might say, "You know, the big-city self-importance jokes are getting a little old. Because you are kidding, right, you don't actually think this way?"
Spouse won't leave controversial career
Q: A few years ago (after we were married) my husband took a new job to "scratch an itch" about working in a particular field. I strongly objected to the job, which is in a field I have long been morally and vocally opposed to, but supported his choice.
At this point, I feel it is time for him to find a new job. He disagrees and wants to continue indefinitely. This divergence of views is causing tension in our relationship. What do we do?
A: You take it or leave it, I'm afraid. This is who your husband is. Can you remain in the marriage, all in? If not, then you tell him that's how serious this is for you — not as an ultimatum, but as a statement of fact — and you take preliminary steps to get out.