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Tell Me About It:

Published Jul. 10, 2018

Introvert wonders if it has gone too far

Q: Does there reach a point on the introversion scale where you've gone too far? I work from home and rarely see other people besides my wife. I'm finding more and more that I like it that way and don't really want to see friends or family. I'm not depressed, I just prefer to be home alone or only with my wife. Should I challenge my introversion and go out with friends from time to time, or is being an extreme introvert OK?

OK?

A: You're treating your circumstances now as if life is permanent, which we all know it isn't. What will you do if your wife suddenly isn't around? What if you lose your friends and family to relocation, alienation or death? What's your Plan B?

If I were you, though, I wouldn't let my connections and social muscles atrophy completely. It's so much easier to maintain them now than it is to rebuild them later.

Keeping the truth about breakup a secret

Q: Close friends and family want to know why my five-year relationship just ended, as my partner and I were living together and actively making plans to get married and start a family. "We just outgrew each other and are happier apart" suffices for some who ask, but not the ones who know us really well.

Can you clarify why I should not tell people that my partner was a lowlife and a thief who stole thousands of dollars from me within six months — a fact I have so far kept to myself in an attempt to be fair to him?

Disclosure

A: What about the truth is unfair? Is there some question about his guilt?

If you just don't want to get into it with anyone, then feel free to tell the people who knew you well that he turned out to be a really bad guy and you're not ready to talk about it.