Your self-confidence trumps losing weight for a boyfriend
Q: So, the guy I'm seeing has requested that I lose weight. I have not gained weight since we started dating, but I would like to lose weight and could certainly afford to lose 20 pounds.
This is strictly about attractiveness from his perspective, as far as I can tell. There was no verbiage about unhealthy habits or concern for well-being.
I do work out regularly, though probably not enough, and I love my evening wine. So, there's room for improvement. I don't know what to do while I lose weight or even if I can. This has affected my self-confidence.
A: I almost didn't answer you because this column has already popped its buttons on the weight issue.
But this isn't (just) a weight issue. You're dating someone who dents your self-confidence versus enhancing it.
Buh-bye, right? Lose 180 pounds!
What's the point of his companionship if it brings you down?
Since I'll get feedback about weight anyway, I'll say this much: You can get thinner, sure. "Improve," sure. Who can't.
But: You got to your current shape not by being sick, apparently, or self-destructive, or depressed, or ignorant of self-care; you got there by being your workout-dabbling, wine-enjoying self. Logic dictates bypassing years of anguish and holding out for someone who adores your natural state.