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Tales from the Crib: Running late is my cardio

Lynn Cristina is a Wesley Chapel momma with two girls and works full time as a marketing manager.
Lynn Cristina is a Wesley Chapel momma with two girls and works full time as a marketing manager.
Published Jul. 24, 2019

We were on track to be early but of course nothing is ever that easy in our house. I am convinced that the forces of nature are always against me.

Our older daughter had a sleepover the night before and we love her BFF. She is so sweet and polite and it is always fun to have her over. After playing school, watching a movie and guzzling candy, all three girls made it to bed, asleep by 10 p.m.

Emme's BFF is an early riser, unlike us. So, I knew I had to bring my A game for the morning routine in an effort to get Addy to swim class and Emme and her friend to gymnastics on time. Truth be told, I went to bed late after a glass or two of wine. They shotgunned candy and I sipped wine — in the spirt of survival, of course.

I woke up late at 7:45, so I was already behind, according to my plan. Thankfully, I felt great and started getting ready ASAP. In theory, I still had plenty of time since we didn't need to leave the house until almost 10 a.m.

What family can't get ready in two hours, right? While I was getting dressed my hubby started breakfast for the girls. So far so good. All the little ladies eat and play. I am ready early, and my hubby now has a whopping 45 minutes to shower and get out the door. See, we planned to divide and conquer. I'd take the younger one to swim and he'd take the big girls to gymnastics. He promised he would be ready to go.

Then it came time to exit the building. This should be the easiest step in the morning routine but often it is where things go terribly wrong. Of all mornings, I couldn't find my keys! I mean, really? Things were going so well before it came time to prepare the cabin for departure. We were going to be on time for once!

I leave Addy buckled in her car seat as I am hopeful that I will find my keys ASAP. I frantically deploy the older girls in a rapid-fire search for my car keys. I now have 10 minutes to get the baby to swim class. Will we make it?

As the girls are on the hunt I hear the BFF yell, "Eww, gross!" She had stepped in dog poop. Shoot! I forgot about the puppy. As I got all the humans fed and dressed I forgot to take him out to potty, so he found a nice spot in the dining room to leave his reminder for me.

The poor kid had a huge ball of poop stuck to the bottom of her foot. Well, forget the keys. Now I must clean up the dog's mess and Emme's friend, too. All the while the hubster is upstairs, blissfully unaware of the chaos around him. I haven't had the luxury of doing anything alone for the past six years. Just saying.

Poor Addy didn't make it to swim class. We regroup. Our puppy Diesel hasn't been feeling well, so my husband decided to take him to the vet. He asks me if I have a stool sample for the dog. Why yes, I do. Coming right up! (As if I keep them in storage or something.) While I dig the clump of poop from the trash Addy decides to strip. She is now running through the house naked while the other girls grab snacks and water for the road. The class is an hour, but they packed enough food for a week.

As we began to depart for a second time, the water bottle spills. This water bottle is huge. What seems like liters of water and ice are everywhere. I now have 15 minutes to get the girls to gymnastics on time, so I'm tapping out. I leave my husband with the pond in our foyer and the naked baby. See you dude, it's your turn.

We were three minutes late.

Lynn Cristina is a Wesley Chapel momma with two girls and works full time as a marketing manager. The girls' names are changed here so as not to embarrass their momma. She and her family love living in Wesley Chapel. Contact her at LCristina@tampabay.com.