Editor’s note: In a 1982 Floridian section of the then-St. Petersburg Times, we published the sheet music for an original Florida Christmas song titled “Christmas Without Snow.” In 2007, the Times recorded a music video of the song, performed by author Roy Peter Clark. You can find it on YouTube.
On a recent visit to the mall, my wife, Karen, noticed an old biker dude with a long white beard wearing a medical mask. “Look,” said Karen. “Santa’s wearing a mask.” That was all I needed for a new hook to my old song. Here are the lyrics in poetry form. The illustration was created by our son-in-law Deeds Davis.
Who knows what Christmas 2020 will look like? We hope Santa can deliver to the world a vaccine for the coronavirus. In the meantime, in the broiling heat of summer, let’s celebrate a little Christmas in July.
Santa Wore a Mask, Christmas in July, 2020
A pandemic came our way
Would it spoil our Christmas Day?
But until it went away
Santa wore a mask.
Yes, he has a fuzzy beard
And a mask would look quite weird
But in spite of what we feared
Santa wore a mask.
Chorus:
Wear your mask
Santa may ask
If you’ve done this task
Hey! Don’t drink from my flask.
Social distance was the way
Reindeers pulled on Santa’s sleigh
At six feet distance they would stay
Santa wore a mask.
Your elbow is the place to sneeze
Don’t cough virus in the breeze
That curve will flatten, if you please,
Santa wore a mask.
[Repeat chorus]
If the Grinch is feeling Grouchy
And all stank and kinda slouchy
Hook him up with Dr. Fauci
Santa wore a mask
If a fevered Suzy Snowflake
Turns into a crispy cornflake
Please dispense with hugs and handshakes
Santa wore a mask.
[Repeat Chorus]
Santa won’t be at the mall
To hear the children’s greedy call
“A truck, a doll, I want it all!”
Santa wore a mask.
St. Nick may miss your living room
But don’t be sad or filled with gloom
He will visit via Zoom
Santa wore a mask.
[Repeat Chorus and Out]
Roy Peter Clark teaches writing at the Poynter Institute, which owns the Tampa Bay Times. He is the author of many books, the latest of which is “Murder Your Darlings,” a writing book about writing books. Contact him at rclark@poynter.org.