Dear Annie: My son has been dating a woman for three years. They have been living together for two of those years. From the beginning, my gut told me that this woman is not right for my son, but I’ve worked hard to be kind to her for his sake. My husband and I recently FaceTimed them, and we both noticed how the girlfriend sat behind him and mockingly laughed at my son. My husband confronted her during the conversation, to which she promptly clammed up. My husband and mother have both expressed their reservations about this woman, confirming that I’m not just an overinvolved mother.
How do I alert my son to our misgivings about this woman?
— Time is Ticking
Dear Ticking: Mocking is never OK, and you have every right to be concerned. Take your son out to lunch and see how he is doing. Don’t bring up his girlfriend at all; just check in with him and see how he is feeling. Your son can marry who he wants, but you do have the right to be concerned.
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Dear Annie: Regarding the lack of appreciation for a wedding gift: While I completely agree that the couple should have sent thank-you notes, an awful thought crossed my mind. We just had our wedding last year, and we sent combination personalized thank-you/holiday cards to our friends and family. What if some of these got lost in the mail? The thought made me sick that someone might be harboring bad feelings toward us even though we tried to be heartfelt, gracious and timely with our cards.
Dear Thankful: Lost in the mail is always a possibility. I suppose if you are really worried that someone did not get your thank-you note, then you could ask them. But my suggestion is to block out this thought and assume everyone received your cards. I would only bring it up if someone asks you about it.
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Dear Annie: I’m writing about your response to the husband of an alcoholic wife. I have seen your answers regarding how Alcoholics Anonymous has helped a lot of people. In this case, I would highly recommend Al-Anon.
After 34 years of drinking and almost destroying my marriage, I went to Alcoholics Anonymous and this time stayed there (it was not my first attempt). My wife went to Al-Anon, where she got to learn about life with an alcoholic.
My last drink was on March 3, 2008. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Dear Sober: Congratulations on your sobriety. You never gave up and you succeeded and continue to succeed one day at a time.
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