SAN ANTONIO, Fla. — Filmmaker Caleb Wild made a short documentary about his grandfather, who died in April 2019 at 78.It is meant to honor his life, but the movie leaves out details that most would say define his life.There is no mention of where he was born, what he did for a living, how many children he raised or his friendship with Elvis Presley.His full name, John Wild, isn’t even mentioned until the five-minute mark of the five-minute and 28-second documentary.Still, Vimeo’s programmers thought the movie, titled Mr. Wild , was touching enough that it was released on the streaming service’s homepage as a “Staff’s Pick” this month.And Wild believes it perfectly captures his grandfather’s life.Rather than focusing on what his grandfather did while alive, Wild focused on what he left behind in death — emptiness and loneliness for those who loved him.“If no one misses you, did you live at all?” said Wild, a 22-year-old Tampa native now residing in Los Angeles. The movie, he added, “is also a short piece about loneliness and finding purpose when all your friends are gone.”The story is told through the eyes of one, Bill O’Connor, who was John Wild’s best friend and neighbor in the San Antonio senior community of Tampa Bay Golf & Country Club . John Wild’s wife, Margie, died in June 2016. They had married at 17 and stayed that way for 58 years. “So it was a big blow, because she was all he knew in life,” Wild said.O’Connor’s wife, Marlene, had Alzheimer’s.The two men were already friends, but loss brought them closer.“We had a lot of other plans, too, bowling, fishing,” O’Connor, 86, says in the film that was shot in December 2019. He then broke down in tears. “I promised I wouldn’t do this.”Death is a sad norm in his community, O’Connor says in the movie. “Lately there’s been a lot of them passed away. Two doors over, she lost her husband. Next door, they lost their husband. But the houses sell quick. And we got a lot of new neighbors.”You have to carry on, he told the Tampa Bay Times , by meeting the new neighbors rather than retreating into loneliness.“I taught dance and I did standup,” O’Connor said. “So, it is in my personality to meet people. You have to keep meeting people. Find a way to meet people.”He met John Wild by borrowing a tool.“Maybe it was a wrench,” he laughed. “I don’t remember. I don’t even know if I needed it. I just wanted a conversation.”They became best friends, leaning on one another as one friend and family member after another died.“I was good company for him. And I tried to be. Plus a friend,” O’Connor says in the documentary.John Wild did the same for him, O’Connor said, when his wife died in February 2019.Less than two months later, John Wild died.O’Connor remains social, even during the pandemic.He spends time with those whose spouses have Alzheimer’s. Others seem to stay away from such couples, he said, because they find it awkward and depressing.“I don’t want anyone to be lonely,” O’Connor said.He worries that the younger generation spends too much time interacting with others on their phones rather than in person.“You can’t get to know anyone like that,” he said. “If you don’t get to know anyone, you’ll always be lonely.”And if you don’t have close friends and family members, Wild asked, who will mourn you?“Life is defined by the people you affected,” he said. “What you left behind matters.”Still, that Elvis Presley story?“He won some dance competition in Sarasota,” Wild said. “And that’s when this guy who was a promoter in Tampa introduced him to Elvis. So, whenever Elvis was in town, he’d leave tickets for my grandparents.”John Wild used to joke, O’Connor said, that he gave up music for his wife.“Too many women looked at him,” O’Connor said. “He only had eyes for one. He loved his wife more than anyone has ever loved a wife. That is what life is about — love. Love people.”
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