I'm going to need my Busy Bee because I am freaking out. Today on Twitter, Netflix announced Christopher Guest's next film Mascots will premiere in 2016. It follows a group of "'unusual' men and women, with big heads and furry suits, (as they) compete to win the prestigious Gold Fluffy Award and be crowned best mascot in the world." Yes, please.
The streaming service didn't give anymore details, but I'm guessing this will be in typical Guest fashion: an improvised satirical mockumentary starring the usual suspects: Eugene Levy, Catharine O'Hara, Fred Willard and Jane Lynch, just to name a few.
Guest hasn't been heard from since 2013's Family Tree, a short-lived series on HBO starring the derpily handsome Chris O'Dowd. For the last two years, I've been wondering what the heck Guest has been up to and this new movie sounds like everything I've ever wanted. So in celebration of Guest's return to the screen, here are my five favorite Guest characters from the films he directed (he did not direct This Is Spinal Tap so I'm not counting it).
The beauty of Guest's characters is that they are hilariously subtle in their quirkiness, and perfectly detailed so you can see a little bit of yourself in them.
Her character is subtle in its absurdity. At one point while she's talking at the camera, you see the zipper on her jacket is actually attached to a ring on her finger. Plus, her eye makeup is ridiculous, but, sometimes, so is mine.
Best line: "We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about." (About her relationship with her MUCH older husband, who never speaks a word in the movie.)
From her accent, her outfit and her naive charm, Parker nails this role of a small-town girl with big dreams. I mean, who doesn't want to go to the Big Apple to meet "some Italian guys" and, maybe, watch some TV.
Best line: "I been workin' here at the D.Q. for about, um... eight months? Seven? I don't know, somethin' like that, it's fun. Just do the cones... make sundaes, make Blizzards, 'n... put stuff on 'em, 'n... see a lot of people come in, a lot of people come to the D.Q... burgers... ice cream... anything, you know? Cokes... just drive in and get a Coke, if you're thirsty."
This perfectly paired husband-and-wife duo are part of the New Main Street Singers; he's dorky, and she's not shy about anything. Together, they've found an awkward, but spiritual relationship that just works, and produces some great music.
Best line: "There was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature." (Terry)
But my favorite couple goes to these two, the uptight but perfect-for-no-one-else pair of lawyers with a catalog addiction and set of sexy braces. Their story of how they met at Starbucks, but different ones that were across the street from each other is so ludicrous, but somehow logical. According to the director's comments from the DVD, it's true: There are two NYC Starbucks across the street from each other.
Best line: (Hotel Manager) "Have you tried looking under the bed?" (Meg Swan) "Of course I've looked under the bed, of course I've looked under the bed. That's where you look when you lose things."
This is my favorite scene in all of Guest's films. This dance is everything. His haircut. Those pants. I just rewatched this three times and I'm crying laughing at my desk. Wish we could have seen that pantsuit he bought for his wife Bonnie. I bet it was great.
Best line: "Well, then, I just HATE you... and I hate your... a--... FACE!"
Buck Laughlin played by Fred Willard in Best in Show
Mitch and Mickey played by Eugene Levy and Catharine O'Hara in A Mighty Wind
Harlan Pepper played by Christopher Guest in Best in Show.
Before you get mad that I missed your favorite character, just know this list was very hard for me. Tweet me your favorite Guest character @bevolk.