Detective Phil Ryan happened to be parked outside a 7-Eleven in North Lakeland on Thursday afternoon when he witnessed what may be the greatest feat known to mankind involving a pair of jeans, 15 quarts of oil and 30 DVDs.
As he sat in his unmarked patrol car, parked directly in front of the oil section of 7-Eleven, he observed as William Jason Hall, 38, went to work. Video released by the Polk County Sheriff's Office shows Hall managing to jam 15 quart-sized bottles of oil into his pants, along with 30 "Treasure Hunt!" DVDs — one of which was "Lassie: Best Friends Are Forever" — as Ryan watched through the glass walls.
Ryan waited for Hall to make his great escape before he confronted him. The video shows Hall waddling out of the door with an unnatural, yet deliberate gait, all the while holding his waistline to ensure his spoils — and his pants — didn't come crashing down before he got to his car, which was parked directly next to Ryan's.
As soon as Hall made it to his car, Ryan made it to his car window. Polk County Sheriff's Office walks you through the conversation in their Facebook post, saying, "We imagine he said something that began with, 'Are those movies and bottles of motor oil in your pants, or.......?' "
Hall then waddled his way back into the store with a defeated look on his face and Detective Ryan in tow.
Hall dug deep into his trousers to unload his would-be treasures onto the counter. He faces a charge of petit theft, his third such charge, making these charges a felony, according to the sheriff's office.
"Mr. Hall, the next time you need some motor oil and last-minute gifts," the sheriff's office said in their Facebook post, "please pay for them."