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Content I have enjoyed instead of essential WWE wrestling
Ron DeSantis has said wrestling is essential, but have you heard of scallions? | Column
A photo of the sold-out crowd in New Jersey's MetLife Stadium, which hosted 2019's WrestleMania.
A photo of the sold-out crowd in New Jersey's MetLife Stadium, which hosted 2019's WrestleMania. [ WWE ]
Published Apr. 15, 2020
Updated Apr. 15, 2020

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis has declared WWE an essential business that can continue to film wrestling in Orlando without an audience.

“People are chomping at the bit,” he said. “If you think about it, we have never had a period like this in modern American history where you’ve had so little new content, particularly in the sporting realm. I mean, we are watching reruns from like the early 2000s.”

It’s true! Studies show that every single American is watching My Name Is Earl. But there is still content available despite the lack of sports. Here are some things I have enjoyed during quarantine.

Scallions regrowing inside a mason jar.

My foster dog showing unnatural interest in a pillow.

Eyebrow waxing tutorials.

The same nine people walking down the street.

A half-eaten fish that a bird dropped near the sewer drain.

The Wire.

The Wikipedia pages of everyone on The Wire.

My neighbor hacking something with a machete for some reason?

A Pinellas County schools lesson on adverbs.

A pot roast sitting in the Crock-Pot.

Hours of Instagram influencers applying self tanner. Hours.

Tracking my 1-800-Contacts order.

A “book.”

Life slipping away.

• • •

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