Did you hear? New England Patriots broskies Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski have joined the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. If sports ever come back, we will have a football season to remember.
But please, don’t lose sight of history. Pay respects to what got us here. Specifically, A Gronking to Remember by Lacey Noonan. It is Book One in her Rob Gronkowski erotic series. The follow-up is called Chad Goes Deep in the Neutral Zone. Who is Chad? Don’t worry about it.
Noonan, who uses a pen name, self-published the e-book in 2014, and it took off. Gronk thought it was hilarious. He even did a dramatic reading on Jimmy Kimmel Live!
It is $2.99 on Kindle. It takes less than an hour to read. And once you buy it, your Amazon algorithm will suggest similar reads such as Dark Desires: Taken By The Obamacare Sex Robot. A win-win.
Gronking is high art. It is full of sexy sex and naughty words and Gronk fantasies. It contains soul-shattering lines such as “Why the hell do you watch football but hate football so much at the same time?”
Oh, the story? Leigh is very interested in knitting. Her husband, Dan, is a drunken louse. He spends his time watching pigskin with "The Gregs, The Craigs, The Mikes, The Steves, The Todds, The Chads.” Worst of all, he is a New York Jets fan.
Leigh is dead inside until she lays eyes on Gronkowski and the "unrivaled power of his touchdown dance: The Gronk.” Can an obsession with this tight end help one couple spike the ball?
Read it, you cowards.
And please, Lacey Noonan, write a new one based in Tampa. We don’t deserve it, but do it anyway.