Patience is an underrated human quality. If you read patiently, I will explain why.

While patience is revered in many cultures, it is not the sexiest personality trait. Patience is overshadowed by her assertive siblings, “bravery” and “good at parties.” But I believe if everyone could increase their patience a bit, we would have fewer viral videos.

Reader, we are not a patient world. We are a world of eight-week abs and verbal abuse at Costco. We hate being on hold, in lines, in traffic. We demand immediate satisfaction, and corporations know it. Uber Eats gives you a coupon if your tacos are late. You don’t even have to request it. Ask me how I know.

Ah, but patience, the sensation you are experiencing now as I slowly wind up to the thesis, is about long-term reward. Patience is a savior of relationships. It is about leaving the room when tensions escalate, then revisiting the disagreement when you have both had a sandwich. Patience is productive! I will die on this hill, over the course of many hours.

Thank you for your patience. Now, the point.

School starts Monday in Pinellas, Hillsborough and Pasco counties, in many different forms due to the coronavirus. It has never been more important to increase reserves of patience. I have identified several famous quotes to infuse all of you with Pinterest board wisdom.

Parents

How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees? - William Shakespeare

Use restraint with school employees. Teachers are being asked to pat their heads and rub their stomachs at the same time (district plan, Section 18, item C4). Not only do they have to learn all new students, they have to master new technology. Oh, and avoid a deadly disease. If the teacher takes an extra day to answer re: spirit shirts, don’t ask, “why?” Ask, “red or white?”

Teachers

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world. - Helen Keller

Remember, parents are barely holding it together. They do not know what the “student pairing code” is for Canvas, nor do they know the difference between Clever and Canvas. You have explained it 12 times, however, they will ask a 13th. They don’t shower. They spend their days negotiating with children, small people who cannot keep pants on, to wear a mask. They used to have dreams.

Students

Genius is eternal patience. - Michelangelo

Though they may pretend, adults do not know what’s going on. Just look at your dad’s hair. It has been hard for you, too, and everyone feels terrible about it. You struggle for patience, what with your developing brain, but try it out. If your parent is in the bathroom for a long time slumped against the door, let it be. If your teacher says don’t touch her, make like a tree and stay where you are.

People without kids

All we need is just a little patience (patience). - Axl Rose

You have chosen a life without children, and yet you are subjected to panic about superspreader classrooms, first day of school photos and Hunger Games memes. But don’t forget, these kids are the future. They will write the poetry of this discord, study our broken spirits, create the brighter tomorrow that we could not make manifest. Give them patience now, as one day we will need theirs. Or, just use the mute button.