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Tom Brady spirals one-liners at Colts, Gronk, hate-mailers during podcast

The Bucs quarterback spared practically no one during a half-hour zinger session Monday.
A day after his team's 38-31 win over the Colts in Indianapolis, Bucs quarterback Tom Brady took a few crisp jabs at his longtime AFC nemesis.
A day after his team's 38-31 win over the Colts in Indianapolis, Bucs quarterback Tom Brady took a few crisp jabs at his longtime AFC nemesis.
Published Nov. 30, 2021|Updated Nov. 30, 2021

Maybe it was his alma mater’s seismic upset of its bitter rival, or his conquest of a nemesis of a different sort the following day. Whatever reason, Tom Brady was in wickedly funny form on his weekly podcast Monday night.

And in lieu of conservatively checking down with his comments, the 44-year-old unleashed his zingers at a variety of targets.

The initial one in his crosshairs: the Indianapolis Colts, a longtime postseason adversary during his two-decade tenure in New England, and the franchise responsible for setting the “Deflategate” scandal in motion following the Patriots’ 45-7 romp over the Colts in the 2014 AFC title game.

“I think I’ve beat the Colts the last nine times I’ve played them,” Brady told host Jim Gray on his Let’s Go! podcast, a day after the Bucs rallied for a 38-31 triumph at Lucas Oil Stadium. “It turns out that horseshoe on their helmet isn’t as lucky as it seems. It really sucks for them, but not for us.”

Only 24 hours before, Brady — 16-4 all-time against the Colts — remained far more reserved when asked by an Indianapolis-based reporter if he still got special satisfaction from beating them.

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” he said. “Not a lot of love lost.”

On Monday, he didn’t stop at one barb, noting that current Bucs coaches Bruce Arians, Clyde Christensen and Tom Moore were former Colts staffers.

“I said, ‘Listen, don’t everyone get teary-eyed when we beat these guys,’” Brady recalled. “‘I don’t want any sadness. Don’t feel like there’s anything to be sad about after we win this game.’ It ended up being a really hard-fought game.”

Partially responsible for Brady’s joviality was Michigan’s 42-27 victory Saturday over Ohio State on a snowy Saturday in Ann Arbor, snapping the Buckeyes’ eight-game win streak in the series.

“You know, it was a perfect Ann Arbor day,” said Brady, who experienced four wins against Ohio State in his five seasons (1995-99) with the program.

Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh, who got a congratulatory text from Brady afterward, even appeared on Monday’s podcast, crediting Brady with helping motivate his team during game week.

“I appreciate you getting back to me earlier in the week,” Harbaugh told Brady.

“As I texted you, I just noticed about our team, they play their best when they play loose and they play with joy and they play with gusto. And who better to text and ask, ‘How do you best do that?’

“You gave me tremendous advice, and then to see our players go out there and play with that kind of joy and that kind of gusto from the first snap to the end of the game, tremendous to be a part of.”

Emerging as other Brady punch lines Monday were longtime teammate Rob Gronkowski, and even a hate-mail sender who asked (via an anonymous handle): “What exactly do you suck at?”

“I do suck at golf, I absolutely do,” Brady retorted. “I think my handicap’s like an 8 or 9, maybe like your IQ. ... I also suck at aging and answering stupid questions like this one. Anything else you got?”

Brady was just as sharp (if not quite as vicious) regarding Gronkowski, with whom he connected seven times for 123 yards on Sunday.

“He’s a freak. It’s funny, I pride myself on being nutritious and treating my body like a temple,” Brady said. “And here’s Gronk, he’s a machine. He puts anything into (his body), any preservative, and it’s obviously so effective. It kind of pisses me off that I’m sitting here counting almond intake, and he’s wolfing down peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches like they’re going out of style.”

Even former teammates weren’t off-limits Monday. Brady went after former Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman, who mimicked he and Gronkowski during a Monday Night Football appearance with the Manning brothers.

“He’s always mimicked me pretty well, mimicked Gronk pretty well, mimicked (Bill) Belichick pretty well over the years,” Brady said. “He basically pretended to be Wes Welker his whole career, so what can’t he do?”

Contact Joey Knight at jknight@tampabay.com. Follow @TBTimes_Bulls

Related: Tom Brady, Bucs veterans show no panic under pressure while closing out games
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