1. Stage

Get ready for Father's Day with some A-plus Dad Jokes

Jim Gaffigan and his family attend the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them world premiere at Lincoln Center in New York last year. [Getty Images]
Jim Gaffigan and his family attend the Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them world premiere at Lincoln Center in New York last year. [Getty Images]
Published Jun. 14, 2017

Cue the loving groans.

Our star this week is Tig Notaro, the comedian known for her "bone-dry, low-key observations," as Christopher Spata writes. She performs at the David A. Straz Jr. Center for the Performing Arts on Friday. In a different Straz theater on the same night, Jim Jefferies cracks his brand of controversial funnies.

If Pops can take a joke, either event would be a lovely date this Father's Day weekend. We have some other ideas to mark the occasion, from museums offering free admission to dining ideas that step outside the box at

Or, might we suggest throwing a Dad Jokes Party? Visit to access a giant collection of squeaky-clean zingers. ("Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.") Print them out and put a different Dad Joke under each dinner plate, taking turns doing dramatic readings. Feel free to mix in some of former President Barack Obama's famous Dad Jokes from his Thanksgiving turkey pardons. ("We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed.")

Fortunately for Dad, fatherhood is a topic comedians have been tackling for ages. Out of fairness, after lobbing softballs around the table, fire up YouTube and settle in for some comedy sets that speak to the prickly truth behind parenthood. These will get you started.

Louis C.K.

"It's hard having kids because it's boring. It's just being with them on the floor while they be children. They read Clifford the Big Red Dog to you at a rate of 50 minutes a page, and you have to sit there and be horribly proud and bored at the same time."

Jim Gaffigan

"There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.' "

Chris Rock

"Everybody takes Daddy for granted. Just listen to the radio. Everything's Mama. What's the daddy song? Papa Was a Rolling Stone."

Kevin Hart

"When you got more than one kid, you just wake up angry."

George Carlin

"Listen, there are a couple of things about kids that you have to remember. First of all, they're not all cute. Okay? In fact, if you look at them close, some of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good, either. The little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and sour milk combination or something. Stay with me on this, the sooner you face it, the better off you're going to be."


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